Goals: Not Just Endpoints, But Learning Journeys
An Alternative Approach to Goal-Setting for Embracing It as a Learning Experience to Gain From.
Are you a work-from-home parent trying to grow your own creative business? Do you often feel like you're always in “The Gap", struggling to achieve your goals and constantly comparing your progress with others?
In this post, we'll explore how shifting our perspective on goals from achievements to learning experiences can help us grow our creative business, improve our skills, and enjoy the journey.
Those who have been keeping up with us know that our focus, for this and the next month, is based on the book "The Gap and the Gain" by Dan Sullivan & Dr Benjamin P. Hardy (affiliate link *).
In the coming weeks, we'll explore ways to incorporate the book's core insights into our solo-preneurship journey.
New around here? Hop over here to read a short summary on “The Gap and The Gain”, or grab a cuppa and chill out here to read my book notes.
One last thing before we get to business… Subscribe and get the insights directly to your inbox, ensuring you ever miss an important tool for building a life and business you love.
And now, let’s get to it…
Are You Making the Steaks too High?
As a work-from-home parent who’s goal is to run a successful, creative one-person-business, I often find myself caught in “The Gap". This gap represents the distance between where I am now and where I want to be - an ideal future self who’s completed big, audacious goals.
For me, the constant striving that often leaves me feeling like I'm falling short results in frustration. Plus, my inner-critic tends to kick in and tell me I’m obviously not cut-out to do this.
The thing is, I didn’t have this problem when I started my first company in my 20s - I just got on and did the work. No second guessing. No frustration.
Sometimes I think the frustration I experience in this season of life is because the steaks are higher. In my 20s I didn’t have kids, or big financial commitments, and I had my “whole life ahead of me” so I could afford to make mistakes.
However, now I have 3 kids, I’m 45 (still a lot of life ahead of me, I know!), and 100% risk adverse - can you relate?
I Have VIPs so I Must Act Responsibly!
If you can relate then I’m going to guess you’re cautiously setting goals, because you don’t want to make the mistake of setting your sights on the wrong target. Time is short and you have very important people depending on you 😅 no pressure there then?
So you carefully consider your goal, put in all your effort, time, and resources, but then the results just don't seem to match up! What gives? From experience, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a negative mindset that can harm both your business and personal life.
Is it Time to Flip the Switch?
What if, instead of viewing our goals as achievements that must be reached, we saw them as learning experiences? Just like in my 20s when I felt like I could afford to “make mistakes”, this shift in perspective could transform the way you and I approach our businesses and life, leading to personal growth and continuous improvement.
Embracing the Rush of a New Challenge.
Imagine a future where goals no longer stress us out. Instead, they excite us because each goal is a new opportunity to learn and grow. We're no longer focused solely on the outcome, but also on the journey. Every step we take, no matter how small, is a victory because it means we're learning and improving.
The Solution to Escaping “The Gap" Lies in Shifting our Mindset.
But how do we start viewing our goals as learning experiences rather than just achievements?
In Chapter 1 of "The Gap and The Gain," Dan and Benjamin propose one approach: set goals based on what we want to learn and how we want to grow. Then, measure our progress backwards - looking at how far we've come, not just how far we have left to go.
In chapter 1 we’re also introduced to the concept of “Here” vs “There”. When we’re stuck in the negative aspect of “The Gap”, our thoughts tend to be focused on the gap between where we are now (Here) and where we want to be (There, aka the ideal future self).
This is where we’re encouraged to ask ourselves if we can enjoy being here, instead of obsessing over not being there?
This is where the story about Dan Jensen is helpful. Jensen was clearly a talented speed skater, but he seemed to be jinxed - when it came to competitions, he started off strong but would never place first. Why? He had been focusing on the "need" to win (the gold medal in the Olympics). However, when he finally chose to skate his race while focusing on having joy and gratitude in his heart, he actually won.
Next Actions:
Ready to start viewing your goals as learning experiences?
Start today by setting one goal based on what you want to learn or how you want to grow. Your goal should be challenging but achievable.
Create a step-by-step plan for your goal by breaking it down into small, easy to manage chunks. With each step think about the learning experience that can be gained.
Before you start on your journey toward your goal completion, consider any obstacles that might pop up and brainstorm ways to avoid or overcome them.
Begin each step from your plan with a state of happiness and gratitude for what you’ve already achieved.
At the end of each step take a moment to review what you learned and what you could improve.
Use your step-by-step plan as tool for measuring your progress backwards, so you can see how far you’ve come and be in “The Gain”.
Check out the Additional Resources below to get a handy cheat sheet for Gain Goal setting.
Remember, it's not just about the destination, but also the journey ;-)
Additional Resources:
For those that want a “fill-in-the-blank” cheat sheet to help with setting goals, get the GAIN GOAL CHEAT SHEET here.
The Project Review Cheat Sheet is another useful tool for evaluating how things went, paid members can also get it for free here.
Until next time Planner Friend, if you find you’ve fallen into Gap thinking, pause to find your Gains!
Chloe x
* Please note: I personally found and purchased this [Audible] book, but as an Amazon Associate I earn from any qualifying purchases you may make after clicking these links.