How to Stop Self-Doubt and Start Focusing on Your Own Creative Journey

Escaping the Comparison Trap: A Guide for Content Creators in their 40s to Build More Self-Esteem

Are you a work-from-home parent pursuing a path as a content creator, who is also juggling family commitments, while building your business?

Do you often find yourself caught in the trap of comparing your journey with younger creators, leading to self-doubt and a sense of failure?

I can 100% relate because this is my current challenge. From experience I can tell you this issue is prevalent, it can drain your self-confidence and hinder your progress. That’s why I test out tools to guide me along this seemly treacherous journey.

In this article I’ll equip you with the practical tools I’m currently testing to break free from the comparison trap, so I can focus on my own unique business journey, and boost my self-confidence.

If you want to discover how to transform your mindset, produce more content, and feel more successful in your entrepreneurial journey, keep on reading…

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But before we continue…

In this article I'll be drawing inspiration from the book "The Gap and the Gain" by Dan Sullivan & Dr Benjamin P. Hardy (affiliate link *), my aim is to escape "the Gap" and train my brain to find "the Gains". The goal here is to share my findings with other creative mid-lifers who are juggling their one-person business with family commitments so together we can create thriving businesses.

This article focuses on the core take-aways I got from chapter 3 of "The Gap and the Gain". Paid subscribers can access my book notes and chapter summaries here.

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The Trap of Social Comparison

In the hustle and bustle of building my business, balancing family commitments, and creating content, it's easy for me to fall into the trap of comparing my journey with others.

I'm sure this is true for most work-from-home parents in their 40s, as the world of content creation often seems dominated by younger creators.

But this comparison can lead to feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy, and even failure. It can drain our self-confidence and hinder our progress, leaving us feeling stuck and overwhelmed.

The Cycle of Second-Guessing and Self-Doubt

The comparison trap can be a relentless cycle, leaving you constantly feeling like you're not good enough, not doing enough, not achieving enough.

For me personally, it makes me question my worth and my abilities, causing me to second-guess my decisions and doubt my potential.

This constant comparison can lead to a state of stress and dissatisfaction, Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan call this "the Gap" and it can have detrimental effects on our happiness and health.

Time to Train Your Brain

But what if there was a way to break free from this trap? What if we could train our brains to focus on our personal gains rather than constantly comparing ourself to others? The good news is that it's possible - the solution lies in changing our mindset and perceptions.

Escaping the Comparison Trap

I’m currently putting into practice my chapter 3 take-aways from the book "The Gap and the Gain" by Dan Sullivan & Dr Benjamin P. Hardy (affiliate link *).

The book take-aways I’m about to share are designed to help:

• Build more confidence in abilities.

• Be proud of achievements.

• Focus on personal gains.

• Foster a sense of positivity and resilience.

This is what’s possible when you escape the comparison trap and Gap thinking.

The Solution for Escaping the Gap Trap is Simple, But it is Not Easy!

Breaking free from the comparison trap that puts you into Gap thinking involves three simple steps:

Firstly, you need to define your comparison triggers.

These are the situations or events that cause you to compare yourself to others. Once you've identified these triggers, you can start building a tool kit to help you navigate these situations and get out of the downward spiral of low self-esteem.

Next, you need to develop the habit of quickly spotting when you fall into Gap thinking.

When you find yourself in a funk or feeling down, give yourself a time out, and only return back to your task, goal or project once you have built enough evidence to climb out of the Gap. This involves looking back at how far you've come and appreciating your personal wins.

Finally, you need to train your brain to stay in the Gain.

This involves changing your habits by shifting how you perceive your identity. When you focus on reminding yourself of your wins and the progress you’ve made so far, no matter how big or small, you can start to perceive your identity as a successful person, which will increase your self-esteem.

With your new identity setup, you’ll want to act in a way that is consistent with your beliefs about yourself so you can leverage your desire to be cognitively consonant. (Want a psychological theory behind this concept? Check out this Verywell Mind article on Cognitive Dissonance)

If you've read Atomic Habits by James Clear (*affiliate link), you'll already appreciate that it’s the identity shift that helps you change your habits. And so, if we can get into the habit of quickly spotting our Gap thinking we can effortlessly switch over to our Gain mindset.

Implementing these strategies can help us escape the comparison trap, boost our self-confidence, and start focusing on our own unique journey.

Now we know what we can do, let’s look at an actionable tool we can use to help us put it into practice…

Next Actions:

The steps above are easy to understand, but putting them into action requires a little more work. That’s why I crafted a Getting to Know Your Gap Triggers questionnaire, to help with feeling more successful and being more confident as a content creator.

The questions below will guide you through the process of escaping the comparison trap and Gap thinking with six easy to answer prompts:

• Prompts 1-4 aim to process the negative aspect of comparison experiences by giving them descriptive words.

• Prompts 5-6 are designed to give perspective and prevent potential roadblocks, making it easier to move forward.

So grab your journal, pen, fave cuppa and 20 minutes when you won’t be disturbed…

Getting to Know Your Gap Triggers

1. Trigger Event: What made me fall into Gap thinking and start comparing myself?

2. Thoughts: What thoughts pop up when I sit in the Gap and do this comparison?